FBC LaBelle
Saying good-bye is never easy but it’s something we all have to do. It’s a part of life. There are things or events in our lives we don’t want to end and there are people we don’t want to say good-bye to. To be a part of something that is profoundly life changing and something that is obviously God given is something I don’t want to say good-bye to. I didn’t come to Nicaragua expecting to be changed like I have. I didn’t come here expecting to fall in love with the people here but I did. I didn’t come here expecting that when it came time to leave I wouldn’t want to. I expected to find dirty streets, poverty, dirty kids and hungry kids which I did. I expected to find people who needed to hear about the love of Jesus and I did. Otherwise this mission trip would be pointless. I came here because I knew that God was asking me to. I had no idea that I would be so impacted by this trip that my heart would be as heavy as it is tonight. I have mixed emotions about leaving here. I’m not sure how to handle all the feelings I’m having. I’m happy, sad, joyful, fearful, grateful, and humbled. I am wondering what will happen to the kids? Will they be okay? Will they really know how much I love them? Did I really make an impact in their lives? Did see Jesus shine through in me? I don’t have these answers but I have a God who does. I have to trust in Him that He will take care of them and they will know how much they are loved. My world has been expanded from the little town I am from in Florida to the country of Nicaragua. I have such a burden for the people here. It is so hard to watch kids on the side of the street selling bags of water to survive. They should be playing and going to school. They should be able to be kids. They shouldn’t have to worry about their next meal. They shouldn’t have to worry about helping their families survive. They shouldn’t be so burdened at such a young age. When I see these kids I can’t help but think of my nieces and the kids of my friends who don’t have to worry about surviving. They just get to be kids. The ladies in the nursing home should have better facilities. They should have clean clothes. They shouldn’t have dirty feet and fingernails. All of them should have shoes. They should have better medical care. They should know that Jesus loves them with all of his heart. I hope I was able to give them just a glimpse of Jesus this week. I hope that despite their hardships they will know and have been reminded that there is one who will always love them and never let them down. There is one who did everything for them and would do it over again and again if He needed to. I hope that they realized this week Jesus is the one.
There is a song we sang in VBS with the kids this week and one of the lines goes something like this “I want to love you more, show me how to love you more.” This is talking about how we can love Jesus more and the ways He can show us how to do this. Even though my heart is heavy I have never loved Jesus more than I have tonight. I was shown this week how to love Jesus more. I was shown through the smile of kids. I was shown with hugs from complete strangers who became friends. I was shown by a little girl’s laughter. I was shown by a little boy who wanted to speak English so he counted to four for me. I was shown by Dennis who I witnessed asking Jesus into His heart and on the last day of VBS hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. I was shown by Dora’s security in her salvation and I was shown by a friend who comforted me at times through this trip. Did I learn how to love Jesus more? Yes I did. I have seen the world differently. I have seen it through the eyes and heart of Jesus this week. He has shown me how to love people so greatly in just a few days that the thought of leaving is breaking my heart tonight. This has been an experience that I will never forget. I am so honored and humbled to have served God this week. I know that I would not be here if it wasn’t for Him.
I wish I could better explain how I am feeling tonight but it’s not possible. It’s not something that can be explained only felt. I am a changed person because of this experience with God. He asked me to follow Him and I did. I prayed to see where He was working and I have. I prayed to love His people and I do. I am so blessed beyond words from this trip. God has given me more than I deserve. I don’t deserve all the blessings I have received from this trip but I am grateful for all of them and there are many. God has been so faithful, loving, and encouraging to me this week and I wouldn’t expect anything less from Him. I get so wrapped up in my daily struggles that I forget just how big God’s grace is. It took me coming to another country to be reminded of this. I needed this trip and God knew this. I needed to see Him working in ways I have never experienced before. I needed to be reminded that despite the struggles I have that God is always there, always faithful, always encouraging, and always loving me no matter what. His grace is enough and I am very thankful for this.
Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need (Hebrews 4:16)
Jennifer Ruble
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